Volkswagen Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
    A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
    Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
    A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
    Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
    A: An inside out elephant.
    Q: What is grey and not there.
    A: No elephants.
    Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
    A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
    Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
    A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
    Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
    A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
    Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
    A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)
    Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
    A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
    Q: Why did more...

    A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce with Nevada plates at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"
    The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
    "I got one too... see?" the Texan says.
    "Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."
    "You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan.
    "Why, actually, yes, I do."
    "I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan.
    The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?"
    The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?"
    "Yep, got my double bed right in back here, see?" the Texan replies.
    The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off.
    Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing more...

    Q: What do you call three blondes in a Volkswagen?
    A: FARFROMTHINKEN

    When a father came home, he asked his wife where their son was. She told him he was in the basement playing with his chemistry set. The father was curious, so he went downstairs to see what his son was doing. As he walked down the steps, he could hear a banging sound. When he got to the bottom, he saw his son pounding a nail into the wall.
    "What are you doing, son?" the father asked. "I thought you were playing with your chemistry set. Why are you hammering a nail into the wall?"
    "Oh, this isn't a nail, Dad, it's a worm," his son replied. "When I put these chemicals on it, it became as hard as a rock."
    The father thought about it for a moment and said, "Tell you what, son, give me those chemicals and I'll give you a new Volkswagen."
    Naturally, his son said, "Sure, why not."
    The following day, his son went into the garage to see his new car. Parked in the garage was a brand new Mercedes. Just then, his more...

    how do you fit 100 jews in a volkswagen? 2 in the front,2 in the back, and 96 in the ashtray!

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