Chemicals Jokes

When I was following my bachelors degree at colombo university, I met this Guy called"X' I dont wan'to mention his name. we were freshmen at that time.
Once we were at chemistry lab Mr."x" came to me and said, look "s.." my experiment doesnt work what I should do?/. I just Took a glance at his proceedure sheet. It says Add Magnisium Chloride.. add..(now i cannot recall those chemicals its happened in 1993). add.. this and add that and for better results add DROPWISE.. So I said Look, You have to add Dropwise. Go to the proffesor and asked for the Dropwise bottle. He went to the proffesor asked for the dropwise bottle. At that time two other young female Instructors were ther too.
They all said to him look, There is no such a chemical call Dropwise, all you have to do is add those chemicals slowley.. thats what it means. he was so humilated and embarresed, I can still remember how he looked at me with firing eyes. He get to I did that on more...

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike Adams

Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.

Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.

How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker?
None. That's what organic chemists are for!

It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. --quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)

Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative logaritm is linear with 1/T -- D. L. Bunker

Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?
A: KNiFe.

As far as i know you get 2 different kinds of Toddy here.
1. from coconut
2. from a particular type of palm
The toddy you get from coconut is tastes better. In some parts of kerala - like aleppy you get toddy in various flavours. I am not sure which all flavours since I never tried it personally.
And and. ..
You get toddy with various chemicals added. And they are known according to the chemical added to it. Ive read about the following varites. See these chemicals are injurious to health and God only knows what all are present in them. (these are illeagal chemicals.)
1. Anamayakki (ana = elephant. mayakkam = sleep )
it means something which make even an elephant sleep. (in malayalam) And there is a medicinal plant of the same name. Its said that even elephants avoid touching them as they are highly poisionous. I have seen this plant in an exibition.
2. esho messiah ( means jesus christ)
if u taste this you will sleep for 3 days and then more...

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. –Ernest Hemmingway He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. –Catherine Zandonella If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. –David Daye When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. –Henny Youngman Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. –Benjamin Franklin Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. –Dave Barry The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. –Humphrey Bogart People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. –Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would more...

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. - Mike Adams
Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.
How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker?
None. That's what organic chemists are for!
It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. -quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)
Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative logaritm is linear with 1/T - D.L. Bunker
Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?
A: KNiFe.