Bug Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - it will be fined (fixed? ) in the next version.
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 586 of them, and it will take them a year from the moment you convince them that the lightbulb is not functioning per the spec.
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the ladder....
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I ran a simulation and got 0. 9999999997 pentium designers...
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1. 99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical more...
There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater. They attempted to rob a bank but got caught. They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair. The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go. The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go. The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go. The Aggie went next. They asked him if he had any last words. "I think if you plug the chair in it will work better."
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
She is now noticing that Husband 1. 0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Husband 1. 0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She's finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2. 4, GirlsNight 3. 5 and CocktailNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
During installation, Husband 1. 0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-ins such more...
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV.
One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there.
The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.
The next night, after he finished his fourth beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there.
The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his first beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there.
This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.
The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there.
The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in more...
How do you swat flies in Texas?
With a tennis racket.
First Mother Fly: How's the new baby?
Second Mother Fly: Very restless. I had to walk the ceiling with him all night.
How does a spider greet a fly?
"I'm so pleased to eat you!"
Why are spiders good baseball players?
Because they know how to catch flies.
What's the difference between a duck and a spider?
The duck has a web in its feet, the spider has its feet in a web.
Where do spiders go to learn new words?
Web-ster's Dictionary.
Who can leap tall poodles in a single bound?
Super Flea.
Which mosquito attacked Dorothy and Toto?
The Wicked Itch of the West.
Who is the termites' favorite comedian?
Woody Allen
Who are the best-dressed insects on the police force?
The Miami Lice.
Who was the greatest insect baseball player?
Mickey Mantis
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and found
that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other
applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1. 0 also is spawning
Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.
No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product
brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that
this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that,
Wife 1. 0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system
initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding
that some applications such as PokerNight 10. 3, BeerBash 2. 5, and
PubNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected
(even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1. 0
automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55. 8 more...