Dump Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Poo List!

    Hot 2 years ago

    The Ghost Poo: The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper, but there's no poo in the bowl.
    The Clean poo - The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but theres no poo on the toilet paper.
    The Wet Poo- You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
    The Wet Cheeks Poo- That's the kind that comes out of your butt so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.
    The Second Wave Poo- This poo happens when you think you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poo some more.
    The Brain Haemorrhage-through-your-nose Poo- You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
    The Lincoln Log Log- The kind of poo that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking more...

    Car Acronyms

    Hot 2 years ago

    ACURA
    Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
    Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
    AMC
    All Makes Combined
    A Major Cost
    A Mutated Car
    A Morons Car
    Another Major Catastrophe
    AUDI
    Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Automobile Under Demonic Influence
    Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
    Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
    Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
    BMW
    Big Money Works
    Bought My Wife
    Brutal Money Waster
    Break My Window
    Break My Windshield
    Babbling Mechanical Wench
    Beastly Monstrous Wonder
    Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Barely Moving Wreck
    Big Money Waste
    Big Money. Why?
    Big Money Works
    Born Moderately Wealthy
    Breaks Most Wrenches
    Bring More Wrenches
    Brings Me Women
    Brings More Women
    Broken Money Waster
    Broke My Wallet
    Broken Monstrous Wonder
    Bumbling Mechanical more...

    The Shit List

    Hot 4 years ago

    THE GHOST SHIT The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.

    THE CLEAN SHIT The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.

    THE WET SHIT You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

    THE SECOND WAVE SHIT This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.

    THE BRAIN HEMORRAHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT Also known as' Pop a Vein in your Forehead Shit'. You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

    THE CORN SHIT No explanation necessary.

    THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into more...

    An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there. Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?" "I have to throw this away," replied the tourist. "You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered. The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want." The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers. "Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the tourist. "No. This is the Amer ican Embassy."

    Tuns of Puns! Part V

    Hot 9 months ago

    What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids won't eat broccoli. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. What's the difference between the capital of Russia and a calf's mother? One is Moscow, the other is cow's ma. Where did the vegetables go to get drunk? The Salad Bar. Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep. Where does a one-armed man shop? At a second hand store. Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? Ta da dump, ta da dump, ta da dump Dump DUMP!!! Which of these things don't belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck? The tuna. The other two are crustaceans. Who delivers puppies when the Vet isn't available? The mid woof. Why can't a woman ask her brother for help? Because he can't be a brother and assist her too. Why did the big moron fall off the roof and the little moron didn't? Because he was a little more on. Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done.

  • Recent Activity