Option Jokes

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    On the other hand, you

    Hot 1 year ago

    On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the follow- ing agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumina- tion of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement be- tween the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall more...

    Are you UP for an UPgrade?
    Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications.
    He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always lauched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and more...

    Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning
    Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the productbrochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 8.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired more...

    Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
    She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
    Not only that, Husband 1.0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She's finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2.4, GirlsNight 3.5 and CocktailNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
    During installation, Husband 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-ins such as more...

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