Bug Jokes

: Gary Lising (The following was copied without permission from the souvenir progamme of the "The Fabans & Friends - A Grand Reunion!" concert in Manila sometime 1996.) My name is Gary Lising. Secretary of Health Juan Flavier once said that I have a very nice name -- for a disease. I was voted as the sex symbol of Assumption College because according to them, I am the only entertainer that looks like a sex organ. I was already a celebrity even when I was a baby. I weighed 48 pounds when I was born -- but weighed only 3 pounds after I was circumcised. I was the only abortion that lived. I was such an ugly baby. My mother only puts the negatives of my pictures in our family album. I was a very thin baby because I was a breastfed baby -- I was breastfed by my father. I grew up to be a boy wonder -- everybody always looked at me and wondered. I studied at the Ateneo de Manila where I took up B. S. Economics. That explains why up to now I still am poor as ever. I went to the more...

Knock Knock Who's there! Bug! Bug who? Bug Rodgers!

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to meSee if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to meAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to meTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to meRun with the debuggerTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to meAsk for a dumpRun with the debuggerTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to meReinstall the softwareAsk for a dumpRun with the debuggerTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to meSay they need an upgradeReinstall the softwareAsk for a dumpRun with the debuggerTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did more...

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the more...

THE Y1K CRISIS

Canterbury, England. A. D. 999.

An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout Europe as the millennial year 1000 approaches, bringing with it the so-called "Y1K Bug," a menace which, until recently, hardly anyone had ever heard of. Prophets of doom are warning that the entire fabric of Western Civilization, based as it now is upon monastic computations, could collapse, and that there is simply not enough time left to fix the problem.

Just how did this disaster-in-the-making ever arise? Why did no one anticipate that a change from a three-digit to a four-digit year would throw into total disarray all liturgical chants and all metrical verse in which any date is mentioned? Every formulaic hymn, prayer, ceremony and incantation dealing with dated events will have to be re-written to accommodate three extra syllables.

All tabular chronologies with three-space year columns, maintained for generations by scribes more...