Broken Jokes / Recent Jokes
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter--it's about to.
A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on. Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly: “You can not fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong. ”
Knight turned the machine off and on. The machine worked.
A stupid glazier was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while and then said, "Its worse than I thought. Its broken on both sides."
The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss
I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a limo, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be!
When I came home, I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.
My friend, he took me for a ride.
All through LA, from side to side.
From north to south, we took a ride.
But from the cops we could not hide.
My trial lasted for a year.
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
The DNA, the HEM, the HAW!
The circus-hype the viewers saw!
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
Did you do this awful crime?
Did you do this anytime?
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, more...
Looking for a cool one after a long, dusty ride, the drifter strode into a saloon. He sidled up to the bar, ordered shot and a beer, and settled back to enjoy his refreshment. Suddenly, a man galloped into the bar, shouting, "Run for your lives! Big Mike's comin'! The drifter watched as most of the locals bolted for the door. Suddenly, the bar doors burst open. An enormous man, standing eight feet tall and weighing at least 400 pounds, rode in on a bull. Grabbing the drifter by the ankle, he tossed him over the bar and thundered, "Gimme a drink!" The terrified fellow handed over a bottle of whiskey, which the man guzzled in a single gulp and then shattered on the bar. The drifter stood aghast as the man stuffed the broken bottle in his mouth, munched the broken glass and smacked his lips with relish. "Can I, ah, get you another, sir?" the drifter stammered. "Naw, I gotta git," the man grunted. "Big Mike's comin'."
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk.