Bong Jokes

THE NIGHT BEFORE RAMADAN
by Kurl
'Twas the night before Ramadan, and all through Kabul,
With the Taliban facing the end of their rule;
Bin Laden was crouching, all snug in his lair,
For soon he would hang in the town's public square;
As he hid in his cave, dirt and rocks for his bed
Our brave Special Forces will soon hand him his head;
And then deep in his bunker, a THUNDEROUS CLAP!
As Osama prepared for the ultimate nap.
As our B-52s did relentlessly batter,
All his troops and companions attempted to scatter.
From their cavernous fortress, a near blinding flash,
And the Taliban soldiers became corned beef hash.
In December, Afghanistan's covered in snow,
Will it slow our campaign? Hell, the answer is NO!
Our resolve, it is strong, and our mission is clear,
As we wipe off their faces that most hideous sneer.
It will not be tomorrow, it may not be quick,
For these goons spawn from evil, their motives are more...

What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe?
Mr. Goosh.
What did one Bengali voyeur ask another?
Keyhollo.
What do you call a bong who talks a lot, sometimes without making sense?
Mr. Chatterjee.
An angry Bengali letter?
Chitti-chitti Bong Bong
A talkative Bengali?
Bulbul Chatterjee
An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee
An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu
A Bengali who works?
A work of fiction
A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu
A Bengali marriage?
Bedding
A mad Bengali?
In Sen
A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha
A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli
A perfumed Bengali?
Chandan Dass
A Bengali goldsmith?
Shonar Bongla
What's bigger than the state of Bengal?
The Bay of Bengal
What's common between Bengalis and sperms?
Only 1 in a million works
When does a Bengali sound like a dog?
When he says more...

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: more...

Q: How does the Bong learn the alphabet?
A: A for Orange, B for Bhegetable....:
Q: How does a Bong relax in the evening?
A: He goes to the Howrah Breez to get some Brij.:
Q: What does the Bong do first in the morning?
A: After baking up from hees slip, he removes the bed-shit.:
Q: What did a Bengali voyeur say to another?
A: Keyhollo?
Q: What do u call a firebrand Bong?
A: Gun-goli.

You Know You're a Pothead When...
You think the song "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead should replace the national anthem.
Your music collection is worth more than your vehicle.
Your bong is taller than your dog.
It takes you more than 30 minutes to roll a joint.
You set your wedding date for 4/20.
You take off April 20th every year and treat it as a holiday.
You spent your last bit of money to score some herbs and don't have enough gas money to get home but you don't care.
You start every sentence with - uhhh!.
You intentionally roll seeds in your joints on independence day so you can hear the popping because you don't have money to buy fireworks.
You eat at Taco Bell more than 8 times a week.
You wear sunglasses at night, and see better.
You go to the corner store and the clerk automatically tosses a pack of rolling papers on the counter.
Your pot tray is fuller than your refrigerator.
Your bong gets washed more than more...