Bone Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three men are on a plane. The first one throws a dirt-clod out of the plane. When he lands, he finds a child crying and asks him, "Why are you crying?" The child says a dirt-clod fell out of the sky and hit his dad on the head. The second man on the plane throws a dog''s chewing bone. When he lands the plane he finds a woman crying and asks, "Why are you crying?" The woman says, "A bone fell out of the sky and hit my husband on the head" The third man on the plane throws a bomb. When he lands the plane, he finds an old man laughing and asks him, "Why are you laughing?" The old man replies, "I farted and my house blew up."
When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table.
Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved his life.
As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services.
"Just name the fee," he croaked gratefully.
"Okay," replied the doctor. "How about half of what you'd have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?"
At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!" The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades. The survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?" The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"
A lady walks into a restaraunt and orders the blue plate special. It's the chicken. She's eating for about 5 minutes, and suddenly she starts choking on a bone.
Two hillbillies at the next table decided to help. One of them had an idea and wispered it to the other.
After agreeing to what the other one had wispered, one of them pulled down their pants and bends over. The other hillbillie started licking his butt, and almost immediately, the woman throws up spitting out the bone.
The two hilbillies high-five each other, and one says to the other -
"I told you that hind-lick manuever would work!!!"
In a fancy restaurant in Washington DC, a Yuppie started to choke on a bone. A woman rushed over, identified herself as a doctor and reassured the man that he was going to be alright.
She performed the Heimlich Maneuver. The bone popped out.
As the man's breath & voice returned he said,' I'm ever so grateful doctor, how can I ever repay you? '
The doctor smiled and said,' I'll settle for one-tenth of what you were willing to pay while you were choking.'
Shreya: I Have More Bones In Body Than You Have. Shelly: That’s Impossible Shreya: It’s True. I Swallowed A Fish Bone At
Dinner.