Rescue Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Flood Shmud

    Hot 2 years ago

    It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the stoop to get in and he'd save him. The man on the stoop said, no, he had faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising and the man had to go to the second floor of his house. A man in a motor boat came by and told the man in the house to get in because he had come to rescue him. The man in the house said no thank you. He had perfect faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising. Pretty soon they were up to the man's roof and he got out on the roof. A helicopter then came by, lowered a rope and the pilot shouted down in the man in the house to climb up the rope because the helicopeter had come to rescue him. The man in the house wouldn't get in. He told the pilot that he had faith in God and would wait for God to rescue him. The flood waters more...

    Insurance Claim

    Hot 2 years ago

    (name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345
    Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016
    Dear Sir:
    This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21A.(3) of the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put "Stupidity". I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my hospitalization.
    I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I immediately, and with unnecessary more...

    Insurance Claim

    Hot 2 years ago

    (name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016Dear Sir:This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21A.(3) of the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put "Stupidity". I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my hospitalization.I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I immediately, and with unnecessary force, returned the lid more...

    Coke or Pepsi

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
    It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle.
    A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew.
    They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew.
    They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals.
    They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
    The Chief nods and simply says, "Yes...seen plane crash".
    When asked where the crew was, the Cheif replyed, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!"
    The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
    The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!"
    Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
    The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Peps!"
    Finally, another rescuer had to ask, "Did you..you know...eat more...

    Smart ladies

    Hot 8 years ago

    There are 3 ladies on a flight. Suddenly the pilot informed them that there was a technical problem and the plane was going to crash into the sea.
    A chinese lady quickly took her cosmetics set out and started to doll herself up.
    A Malay lady beside her questioned her on her actions. The chinese lady replied that if she lookod beautiful, the guys coming to rescue survivors would usually save the pretty ladies first, On hearing this, the Malay lady started to put on all her jewellery.
    An Indian woman sitting beside the Malay lady was curious and questioned her.
    The Malay lady said that the rescuers would save her because she would easily be identified by the glitter of her jewels.
    Then the Indian woman started taking her clothes off.
    Both the Chinese and Malay ladies were shocked and questioned her.The Indian woman then replied that rescue teams do not usually look for survivors. They usually look for the "Black Box" first.

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