Survive Jokes

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    Chuck Norris is the only person that can survive russian roulette with a fully loaded gun

    Befits of Obesity

    Hot 3 years ago

    Obesity has been getting a lot of bad press recently. Research conducted entirely by thin people, has uncovered justification for their own masochistic obsessive-compulsive, fun-killing anal retentative lifestyles.One of the great problems with research, of course, is that the researchers tend to find what they're looking for. And when they find it, they stop looking for other things. It's important, therefore, not to believe research by pressure groups that start with preconceived ideas.Examples of findings not to believe: research on the benefits of exercise by phys. Ed. Department, on the hazards of cholesterol by an anorexic and on the joy of obesity by an overweight G. P. The whole obesity phobia was started by some statistics from a life insurance company purporting to show that people who were overweight didn't live as long as people who were underweight. These were very raw figures and led to some unwarranted conclusions.First, it was assumed that if the overweight group lost more...

    alright there were 3 men they were all asked the same question the question was if you weregoing to the desert what would you take?
    The first man said "i would take some food then i could survive"
    The second man said "i would take some water to survive the thrust"
    the thrid man said "i would take a car door.
    When i get hot i can open the window"

    At first I was afraid
    Now I'm petrified
    That I just can't keep my GPA
    of two point five.
    I spent all those stupid nights...
    I was just chilling way too long
    And that was wrong
    But now I know I must be strong
    And now they're back
    They're in my face
    I've got 3 finals and 2 papers
    to be done in just five days!
    I should never have gone out
    And I should never have partied
    ‘Cause now all this work I have
    It's all piling up on me!
    And I must go
    to the library oh
    To do research on those papers
    And study harder than before
    It's hell, I'll tell you that
    and you know it's not a lie
    But I can't crumble
    I can't lay down and die
    Oh no not I!
    I will survive!
    If I keep a 2 point O
    At least I'll be alive!
    I've got five more days to live
    and I think my brain will give
    But I'll survive!
    I will survive!

    If I can survive death,
    I can probably survive anything.
    -Ashleigh Brilliant

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