Behave Jokes

Little Jimmy was a naughty little boy who, as it happened, wanted a bicycle more than anything else in the world. When he asked his mother for one, she told him that he could only have a bike if he learned to behave himself, which he promptly promised to do.
Alas, after a week of trying to behave, the boy found it next to impossible. Trying to be helpful, his mother suggested, "Maybe if you write a little note to Jesus, you'll find it easier to be good."
Jimmy agreed to try and, rushing upstairs, flopped down on his bed, pencil in hand.
"Dear Jesus," he wrote, "if you let me have a bike, I promise to be good for the rest of my life."
Realizing he could never do that, Jimmy crumpled the paper and started anew.
"Dear Jesus, if you let me have a bike, I promise to be good for a month."
Realizing that even that was beyond him, Jimmy decided not to start again. Instead he ranj into his mother's room, went to her dresser, more...

How NOT to behave in your Doctor's Office

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OK, We all go the doctor for our aches, pains worries and some of us just to have someone to listen to our problems. Guess What, doctors are human too, so here are is a guide of what to do and not to do

Code of Ethical Patient Behavior (The Patient's' HYPOCRATIC' Code')

1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT They've already heard it before. Just sit back and take the pain

2. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES If you make your doctors unhappy, they might just make a slip with the needle as they are inserting it into your butt.

3. TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold. It wouldn't look to good if you are smiling when the medical books indicate you should be wincing

4. IT'S STILL SEXUAL HARRASSMENT Even if you're babes, your sustained more...

HOW TO BEHAVE WHEN YOU DISCOVER YOUR DAUGHTER NECKING IN THE LIVING ROOM:
Wait until the young man has gone home, go into your daughter's room and say to her as follows:
"Miriam."
"Oh, hi, Ma."
"Miriam, I saw. I saw what you were doing in there."
"Oh."
"Miriam, who taught you this?"
"Oh, for God's sake, Ma. I'm a big girl now."
"Miriam, we are decent people. We have always tried to teach you the right thing. How could you do this to us?"
"Ma, for God's sake, I was only kissing..."
"Do you know what your father will do when I tell him? Do you?"
"No, but..."
"He will have a heart attack, that's what he will do. I promise you."
"Look, Ma, you don't have to tell..."
"Not only that, just think what the neighbors would say if they knew."
"Look..."
"For this I had to save your teeth more...