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    You know you are in Arizona in the summertime when: The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

    Hot water now comes out of both taps.

    You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly. You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

    You actually burn your hand opening the car door. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. The cows are giving evaporated milk.

    16 Ways of Knowing You're in the Desert You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. You can say 110 degrees without fainting. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. You can make instant sun tea. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car. You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7: 30 a. m. before work. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to more...

    16 Ways of Knowing You're in the Desert
    You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
    You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
    You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
    You can make instant sun tea.
    You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
    The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
    You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
    You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
    You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
    Hot water now comes out of both taps.
    It's July, it's noon, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
    You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
    You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
    No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
    Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get more...

    A few years ago Charlie brown and the peanuts gang made a new friend who developed leukemia in an animated special entitled, "why me, Charlie Brown?"
    Recently MetLife put out a series of instructional pamphlets which feature the gang dealing contemporary problems.
    Now that Charlie Brown is dealing with important issues how about Peanuts specials for kids of the 90:
    We learn about VD in:
    "IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"
    Chuck & the little red-headed girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:
    "ITS BLUE, CHARLIE BROWN!"
    Is Linus gay?
    "ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"
    See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in:
    "NO MEANS NO CHARLIE BROWN!"
    Discover a father's forbidden love in:
    "ITS OUR LITTLE SECRET CHARLIE BROWN"
    Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:
    "IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"
    What goes on the more...

    Oy of the Beholder - Singles kvetch about their awful dates.
    Girls, Interrupted - Women's section of Shul shusshed during davening (prayers).
    The Seder House Rules - Zaydie lays down the law on Pesach.
    Angela's Kashas - Woman reveals secret recipes.
    The Six Cents - Three Jews each put in their two-cents' worth.
    Snow Falling on Seders - Unexpected storm disrupts Passover.
    Supernova - Space scientists discover powerful strain of lox.
    Dreydel Will Rock - Chanukah toy comes alive.
    Sleepy Hallah - On Friday night, father fills up on bread, dozes off.
    Stuart Ladle - Mouse makes chicken soup for Shabbos.
    The Whole Nine Yids - Struggling shul waits for tenth.
    The Green Mohel - Young man performs first circumcision
    Mun on the Moon - Astronauts discover hamantaschen filling, not green cheese, on lunar surface.
    Gonif with the Wind - A thief tries to acquire ownership of Tara through a forged deed.
    The Putzman Rings Twice - A mohel murder more...

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