Becks Jokes / Recent Jokes

David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the
> kitchen
> department of a large department store. "What's that?" he asks.
>
> "A Thermos flask," replies the assistant. "What does it do?" asks
> Becks.
> The
> assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.
>
> Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next
> training
> session.
>
> "Here, boys, look at this," Beckham says proudly. "It's a Thermos
> flask."
> The lads are impressed. "What does it do?" they ask. "It keeps hot
> things
> hot and cold things cold,"says David.
>
> "And what have you got in it?" asks Roy Keane.
>
> "Two cups of coffee and a choc ice," replies David.

posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six
> o'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the
> Clifton
> Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below.
>
> Posh turns to Becks and says: "David, I bet you 5,000 that he jumps!"
> to
> which Beckham replies "5,000? Done! I bet that he doesn't." So they
> shake
> hands on the bet and continue watching.
>
> Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.
> Beckham
> takes 5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But she
> refuses.
> "I
> can't take your money, David," she says. "The truth is, I was cheating.
> I
> saw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to jump."
>
> "No, babe, fair's fair" says David. "That money is yours fair and
> square. I
> was cheating just as you were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. more...