Cheating Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    It''s all gone

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man complaining to a friend "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman... then....POW!!!... it was all gone!"
    "What happened?" asked the friend.
    "Ahhhhhhh....my wife found out...."

    Going Fishing

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man phoned his wife from the office, "Honey, I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime, but I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home soon to pick them up."
    He rushed home to pick up his things, hugged his wife, apologized for giving her such short notice and hurried off.
    When he returned a week later, his wife asked, "Well, dear, did you have a good fishing trip?"
    "I sure did," he replied. "The fishing was great, but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
    "No, dear, I didn't," the wife replied with a sly smile. "I put them in your tackle box!"

    Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a season when neither the Browns nor the Steelers made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry. So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
    So on a cold freezing day on Lake Erie they began their contest.
    The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers had 100. At the end of the 2nd day the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers 200.
    That evening the Browns coach got his team together and said, "I suspect some kind of cheating is taking place." So the next morning, he dressed one of his players in black and yellow and sent him over to the Steelers camp to act as a spy. At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach. The coach more...

    King Arthur knew that Guinevere was cheating on him, but he didn't know who with. Intending to find out, he had her fit with a special chastity belt, lined on either side by razor blades.
    Several days later, Arthur had all his knights line up and drop trousers so he could inspect any damage to their members. He was shocked to find that all the knights except Lancelot were missing part or all of their equipment.
    Embracing Lancelot, Arthur said, "Thank you, you have no idea what your loyalty means to me."
    "It meanf a wot to me altho," replied the tongueless knight.

    Abortion - Near Life Experience
    Bald - Follically liberated
    Blind - Photonically non-receptive
    Bum - Displaced homeowner
    Cannibalism - Intra-Species dining
    Censorship - Selective speech
    Cheating (Marraige) - Post-Marital Affairs
    Cheating (School) - Academic Dishonesty
    Clumsy - Uniquely coordinated
    Corpse - Permanently static post-human mass
    Cowboys - Bovine control officers
    Crime Rate - Street activity index
    Dead - Living impaired
    Deaf - Visually oriented
    Delicatessen - Corpse Farm
    Dish Washer - Utensil Sanitizer
    Fat - Person of substance
    Gas Station Attendant - Petroleum Transfer Technician
    Hunter - Meat Mercenary
    Idiot - Factually Unencumbered
    Insane Person - Selectively Perceptive
    Midget - Vertically Challenged

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