David Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols, in this order of appearance: A woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David.

    They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.

    They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of their society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said: "This looks like a woman. We can judge that this race was family- oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

    The next drawing looks like a more...

    Yum... cupcakes!

    Hot 6 years ago

    One day 7 year old David and his parents decided to go to the park with Grandma Jane. They were having a great time running and playing together. Then David saw a couple making out very very passionatly, so David asked "Mom, Dad, what are they doing?" While David asked the question Mom and Dad were getting alittle frisky themselves and said "Oh hunny they are getting ready to make cupcakes."
    "Oh okay." said David After he asked the question he ran off and played. "Grandma Jane? Could you watch David for us? We wanna... go make cupcakes." said Mom giggling.
    "Sure, said Grandma Jane, "have fun"
    "Oh we will." said Dad as they walked to the car. Grandma Jane sat down and fell asleep right away.(Shes known for that) David saw his mommy and daddy leaving and ran to the car with no one noticing him.
    About 2 hours after Mom and Dad made their "cupcakes" they heard a noise in the living room, they went more...

    Four Guys At A Pub

    Hot 7 years ago

    An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Welshman were all sitting in the pub having a beer, when the conversation ran dry.
    The Englishman, trying to start it back up again, said, "Guys, I was born on the 23rd April, which is St George's Day, the Patron Saint of England, so my parents decided to call me George. What do you think of that?"
    The Scotsman replied, "That's a coincidence! I was born on St Andrew's Day, our Patron Saint, so my parents called me Andrew!"
    The Welshman said, "You aint going to believe this! I was born on St David's Day, so my parents called me David!"
    The Englishman noticed that the Irishman was very quiet. So he turned to him and asked, "What's your story then, Pancake?"

    Funniest joke goin

    Hot 3 years ago

    Britney spears craig david and shaggy were on a plane and someone farts craig david says i'm walking away shaggy says it wasint me and britney spears says opp's i did it again
    the next day they are on a plane and someone farts shaggy says it wasnt me craig david says i;m walking away and britney spears says stronger than yesterday.

    The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears.Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten commendments.The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.The seventh more...

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