Banta Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa, Banta, and one of their friend, Sunny, tried out for the same job as road stripers. The employer told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job.
At the end of the first day Sunny head had painted 4 miles, Banta had painted 3.5 miles, and Santa had painted 10 miles. The employer was so exited he told Santa to keep it up and the job was his.
The next day the Sunny painted 6 miles, Banta 7 miles, and Santa 5 miles. The employer told Santa not to worry, you still have a good lead.
So, on the third day Sunny had painted 7 miles, Banta 8 miles, and Santa only two miles.
The employer was so disappointed, he asked Santa, "What went wrong, you were doing so good?"
Santa said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further away."
A man was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at an engineering university.
One afternoon, he was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it, he started heating the nut with an oxy-acetylene torch.
As he was doing this, one of the dimmest apprentices, Banta, came along. He asked him what he was doing.
He patiently explained that if he heated the nut, it would grow larger and release its grip on the bolt so he could then remove it.
"So things get larger when they get hot, do they?" Banta asked.
Suddenly, an idea flashed into his mind, "Yes," he said, "that's why days are longer in summer and shorter in winter."
There was a long pause, then his face cleared, "You know, I always wondered about that," he said.
Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."
Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.
The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.
Banta, "It was a flop idea."
Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"
Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"
Banta enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
Banta places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave Banta has ever experienced. After a few strokes, Banta asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Banta's wife, Preeto, and kids all came down with the flu. Upon returning home from the pediatrician's office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife.
After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor.
The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days.
Banta went ballistic and yelled into the phone, "Three days?! The doctor can't see her for three days?! She could be dead by then!"
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?"
Once Santa Singh called Banta Singh for a hearty lunch. Banta Singh arrived promptly on time and was surprised to see the door locked. Then he saw a note which said,'' Kaise ullu banaya!''
Banta Singh was terribly furious, therefore thinking himself to be smart stuck a note saying, '' Main to aya hi nahein''
Santa is talking to Banta about married life.
"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."
Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.
"While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."
Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"
"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.
"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They more...