A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with an IRS tax auditor who was reviewing the man's records.
At one point, the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Johnston, we feel it is a great privilege to be permitted to live and work in the United States. As a citizen, you are obliged to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."
"Thank goodness," replied Mr. Johnston, grinning ear to ear. "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."
An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldnt prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss. After a few months of this the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On a n impulse the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, Ive left the company, Im not more...
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.""Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."
The Tax Man
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit
the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned
to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them
back to the
candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way "What
about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?" "Ah, yes,"
> replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with
an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the
manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking more...
An auditor is the guy who comes in after the battle to bayonet the wounded.