Ancestors Jokes / Recent Jokes
After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian
scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed,
American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Sri Lankan press reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500m, Sri Lankan scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones."
Politically Correct ways to tell someone they are goofy: A few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a happy meal. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. All foam, no beer. The butter has slipped off his pancake. The cheese slid off his cracker. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Her sewing machine's out of thread. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl. Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Not wired to code. Skylight leaks a little. Her slinky's kinked. Too much yardage between the goal posts. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is on. more...
An American and a Russian archaeologist were bragging to a Sardarji. The Russian said that while digging an ancient ruin in Russia he came across some thick cables; therefore he claimed that the Russians had the telegraph system long before it was invented. The American said that while digging a ruin in America he found thin cables. This indicated that his ancestors used telephones. Now the Sardarji spoke. He said that while digging ruins in India, men could find nothing; no cables, no wires. It clearly proved that his ancestors used the most sophisticated wireless system.