Airways Jokes / Recent Jokes

> Lufthansa - Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from
> the captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we
> have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the
> ocean" The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation
> but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
> "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency
> and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the
> non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers
> are on
> the right side of the plane" After this announcement all
> the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's
> request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean.
> The captain once again made an annoucement:"Ladies and Gentlemen we
> have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers more...

ENJOY your journey while it lasts.
An announcement in Punjab Airways:
_______________________________________________________
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your very handsome
captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjab Airways. Sorry we are
four days late in taking off but I had to do some overtime at the
bakery.
This is the one two six flight to New Delhi. We cannot
guarantee that we will end up in Delhi but rest assured it will be somewhere in
the East. And if you are very lucky we may even be landing on your
village! A real Punjabi will land where he wants to, isn't that right
brothers!
Today we have 12 passengers on the plane - which is a bit of a
problem because we only have 5 seats! Hmmm. For safety reasons we will be
counting all the passengers again during and after the flight. We
have a very good record for safety. In fact We are so safe even the
terrorists are afraid to fly more...

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."