"Martha Stewart vs The Real Woman" joke
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Woman's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
Martha's Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Woman's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Woman's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha's Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."
The Real Woman's Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad; I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.
Martha's Way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
The Real Woman's Way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Martha's Way: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
The Real Woman's Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie box does not say anything about brushing egg whites over the crust.
Martha's Way: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Woman's Way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Martha's Way: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Woman's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
And finally the most important tip...
Martha's Way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze it into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Woman's Way: Leftover wine???
Not enough votes...