Cone Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Martha Stewart vs Me

    Hot 7 years ago

    Martha Stewart vs Me...
    Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
    My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
    Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time.
    My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.
    Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes.
    My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
    Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.
    My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
    Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh more...

    Chill Out For A Cone

    Hot 4 years ago

    It was a sweltering hot day when three guys, Arnold, Bobby and Calvin, were walking along a never-ending path in a park.
    Arnold: It sure is hot! I'd like a vanilla cone very much.
    Bobby: Yeah, my shirt's soak with sweat. I'd give 10 bucks for a strawberry cone.
    Calvin: Well I'd give 20 bucks for any cone.
    Arnold picks something off the ground saying, "Pay up Cal, here's a pine cone."

    Ladies vs. Real Women

    Hot 2 years ago

    Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

    Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

    Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

    Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

    Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the more...

    Martha's Way:
    Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
    The Real Woman's Way:
    Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
    Martha's Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
    Real Woman's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
    Martha's Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
    The Real Woman's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
    Martha's Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."
    The Real Woman's Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too more...

    Martha Stewart vs Me

    Hot 3 months ago

    Martha Stewart vs Me... Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time. My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag. Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes. My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling. My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway? Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room more...

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