"Firm Grasp of the Obvious Department" joke

Hot 4 years ago

Firm Grasp of the Obvious Department
From the Notebook pages of The New Republic 1995
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
- Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us
- Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
- The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
- The Los Angeles Times, November 2
'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories
- Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking
- The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers
- The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought
- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
- The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
- Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete
- The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes
- The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows
- The New York Times, March 10
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies
- The Los Angeles Times, March 2
Scientists see quakes in L.A. future
- The Oregonian, January 28
Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning
- The Buffalo News, February 26
Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold
- Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26
Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer
- Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
Economist uses theory to explain economy
- Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8
Bible church's focus is the Bible
- Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons
- Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity
- The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
- Journal of Commerce, April 20
Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person
- The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
Lack of brains hinders research
- The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart
- Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
Fish lurk in streams
- Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29

30> Given an infinite number of geeks in an infinite number of "Star Trek" conventions, would there be at least one with a life?

29> Why is Pauly Shore so successful, while a deserving and talented actor like Tom Arnold is still struggling?

28> more...

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think more...

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