Whiskeys Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- I'll have alarge whiskey please, barman." The man takes his whiskey and downs it. "Same again?" asks the barman. "Okay" says the man and downs the second. He then orders a third and a forth and downs them both. In fact in totalhe downs 27 whiskeys. "Do you want another?" asks the barman. "No I don't think so", says the man, "If 27 whiskeys won't take away the tasteI don't think that another one will!"

Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern. To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said "Mike, I'll be havin'three whiskeys." Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. "Now, Timothy, it's not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It'scelebratin', you are." Ahh, ye know me too well, Micheal, ye do. Truth, and I'm celebratingme first blow job." Callahan smiled benevolently and set a fourth glass on the bar." Now, that's special," he said. "For an old customer like y'rself, here's a fourth on the house, so I may be sharin' your celebrationwith you." Shandy shook his head, and replied "'Tis verra kind of ye, Micheal, but I'm thinkin' if three won't get rid of the taste, four won'teither."

For HER

08: 15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

08: 30 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday

08: 45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner.

09: 15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani oil

10: 00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer

10: 30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry

12: 00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe

12: 45 Catch sight of husband's/boyfriend's ex and notice that she has gained 7 kg

13: 00 Shopping with friends. Unlimited credit.

15: 00 Nap

16: 00 3 dozen red roses delivered by florist from a secret admirer

16: 15 Light workout at club followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says that he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

17: 30 Choose outfit from expensive, designer wardrobe. Parade in more...