Weight Loss Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Why should the public have to take care of its own health when it is clearly a nation-wide problem?" survey respondents asked.

Increasing numbers of Americans are becoming too fat to fit into X-ray machines, U.S. researchers report.
The nation's rising obesity problems mean many citizens are not only too large for scanners but they have too much fat for the rays to penetrate.
Single males who frequent bars in the Midwest have suggested the X-ray machines drink a lot more Jagermeister.

Forget maternity services for the obese, our main concern should be getting psychological help for the guys - so drunk or desperate - who impregnated these women.

New studies declare that eating chocolate and drinking red wine prevent heart attacks. It also increases your chances of one night stands with fat chicks.

Pharmaceutical giant Eli Lilly has been accused of hiding the side effects of the schizophrenia-treating drug Zyprexa.

The evil side effects? Weight gain.

That's how much we hate fat people in this country -- we don't mind if they have multiple personalities, as long as all of them can stay a size 4.

New York twittered at news that skinny girls who faint from extreme dieting are the cause of a substantial number of subway delays. A representative from pro-anorexia website Gossamer Butterfly Self-Cutting Death Princess says "People with no legs slow down the bus all the time, and you don't hear anyone getting on their case about it."

A neuropsychologist has identified a condition where a person involuntarily “tastes” words. This appears to explain how one can be overweight yet never seem to stop talking long enough to eat.