Turkeys Jokes / Recent Jokes

A merchant ordered 500 turkeys for the Christmas season. A few weeks before the holiday, however, his sales dropped sharply.
Afraid that he wouldn't be able to sell all the turkeys, he phoned the distributor and instructed him to "Cut my order in half!"
When his order arrived, guess what it contained?
Five hundred turkeys, of course, each cut in half! It's really amazing how easy it is to misunderstand a message and sometimes rather embarassing, but funny!

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked the stock boy,' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy answered,' No ma' am, they're dead.'

When someone questions the obvious give them back a snappy answer.; )

Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without more...

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger? ”
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead. ”

Sticking to tradition, President Bush saved two turkeys from the chopping block the day before Thanksgiving. The birds were reportedly happy to avoid death, but then they were relentlessly taunted by Lyndie England.