Treatment Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Code Of Ethical Behavior For Patients
    1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort. Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.
    2. Be cheerful at all times. Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.
    3.Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated. Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
    4.Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief. You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.
    5. Never ask your doctor to explain what he is doing or why he is doing it. It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand.
    6. Submit to novel experimental treatment readily. Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, more...

    Chronic disease!

    Hot 7 years ago

    An army Major visiting the sick army men, went to one soldier and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic syphilis, Sir."
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's your ambition?"
    "To get back to the front, Sir."
    "Good man," said the Major.
    He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic piles, Sir."
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's your ambition?"
    "To get back to the front, Sir."
    "Good man," barked the Major.
    He moved to the next bed where Santa was lying and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic gum disease, Sir"
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's more...

    Cold treatment

    Hot 4 years ago

    A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
    Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
    "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by pack mule.
    We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once.'
    We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again.
    Once more my wife quietly said,
    'That's twice.'
    We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time.
    My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead.
    I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, 'That's once.'"

    Give it a rest

    Hot 3 years ago

    A chap had a very painful elbow. He went to see his own
    doctor, who told him to rest it: no treatment was required, it
    was just tennis elbow.
    Rather dissatisfied, he decided to go to a new computer-based
    medical service that had just opened up. He went inside the
    building and found the terminal, but there were no people in
    sight. The instructions told him to slide his credit card
    through the slot, and that $150 would be debited. When he had
    done this, he was asked screen after screen of questions about
    himself, until eventually a specimen bottle appeared. The
    instructions on the screen said, "Produce urine specimen and
    pour into slot on left," so he did. A few seconds later, the
    screen read:
    Diagnosis: Tennis elbow
    Treatment: Rest
    Well, he wasn't happy. $150 wasted just to be told the same
    thing again. He thinks, "I'm going to confuse the hell out of
    that smug machine." He went home, took a bottle more...

    1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.
    Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.
    2. Be cheerful at all times.
    Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.
    3. Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated.
    Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
    4. Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief.
    You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.
    5. Never ask your doctor to explain what he is doing or why he is doing it.
    It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand.
    6. Submit to novel experimental treatment readily.
    Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting more...

  • Recent Activity