Tin Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin?
    No more, mom. It's empty.

    A flashlight is basically a tin can for transporting dead batteries.

    GARAGE SALE: Place an add in the classified section of your local newspaper advertising a GIGANTIC Garage Sale listing the address of your victim. Advertise televisons, cam-corder, vintage automobile, antiques, etc. Sale begins at 6 a. m. Come early!

    X-RAYS AT AIRPORTS: Purchase a large adult bedroom toy. Wrap it in a large amount of tin foil. Secretly hide it in a piece of the victims carry on luggage. As it goes through the airport x-ray machine the contents of the device will be shielded by the tin foil and will be unwrapped-inspected by airport security officials. This one will make your sides hurt from laughter, if present during the inspection. Good for both male and female victims.

    LOST KEYS: Get a hold of some old useless keys (car, house, etc) Place victim's name, phone number and $50 reward...... if found and returned. Drop the keys in one of the least desirable areas of town.

    PAPER MONEY: Write a sexually orientated solicitation message, more...

    Say out loud for full effect!

    Milburn - capital of Victoria
    Peck - to fill a suitcase
    Pissed aside - chemical which kills insects
    Pigs - for hanging out washing with
    Pump - to act as agent for prostitute
    Pug - large animal with a curly tail
    Nin tin dough - computer game
    Munner stroney - soup
    Min - male of the species
    Mess Kara - eye makeup
    McKennock - person who fixes cars
    Mere - Mayor
    Leather - foam produced from soap
    Lift - departed
    Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman
    Kittle crusps - potato chips
    Ken's - Cairns
    Jumbo - pet name for someone called Jim
    Jungle Bills - Christmas carol
    Inner me - enemy
    Guess - vapour
    Fush - marine creatures
    Fitter cheney - type of pasta
    Ever cardeau - avocado
    Fear hear - blonde
    Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen
    Ear roebucks - exercise at the gym
    Duffy cult - not easy
    Amejen - visualise
    Day old more...

    If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

    If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

    If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

    If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

    If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

    If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

    If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

    If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

    Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

    Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

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