Thar Jokes / Recent Jokes

A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the pharmacist,' I want me one of them thar condoms with pesticides on it. Where do I find' em?'

The pharmacist replied,' Oh sir, you must mean that you want the condoms with SPERMICIDE, not pesticide. They're on aisle 4.'

'No, no, I want me them thar condoms with PESTICIDE on it,' growled the farmer.

'Sir,' said the pharmacist, exasperated from explaining,' PESTICIDE is for killing insects, SPERMICIDE is for killing sperm. I'm sure that you mean spermicide instead of pesticide.'

'Listen here,' argued the farmer,' my wife's got a bug up her ass and I'm a goin' huntin' for it. Like I said, I want me one of them condoms with PESTICIDE on it!'

There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W. Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview.

"Sir, I am writing a story about people in this area and would like to include an interesting story from you. Is there any particular story that you would like to share?"

The old hillbilly smiled to himself as he thought back on a time. "Well, thar was the time I lost my sheep. We gathered up a bunch of the boys, got some moonshine in us and went off after it. When we found the sheep, we all took turns screwing it.... my, that was fun!"

The reporter couldn't write a story about that so he asked for another.

"Well, when my neighbor's wife got lost, we all gathered up and got drunk and went out to look for her. We had a good time taking turns with her when we found her, too. Damn that more...

The traveling salesman explained to the farmer that he, the salesman, had a full day ahead of himself and that he had a lengthy sales pitch to deliver, but that he was consumed with curiosity about the pig, with a wooden leg, walking around the yard.
"Why does that pig have a wooden leg?", he asked.
"Well", the farmer drawled, "One day I was plowin' up the south forty when that thar tractor hit a stump, reared up on me, rolled over and stuck me underneath. I yelled and I hollered, but nobody heered me -' cept for that pig! He jumped over the fence, ran' cross the field, put his shoulder to the tractor, and lifted it jist enough for me to wiggle free. If it warn't fer that pig, I reckon I'd be a dead man today!
"Oh, so the pig hurt his leg when he lifted the tractor", the salesman deducted.
"Nope.", said the farmer. "One night our house was afire and we didn't know it. But that pig! That pig jumped over the fence, more...

There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W. Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview." Sir, I am writing a story about people in this area and would like to include an interesting story from you. Is there any particular story that you would like to share?" The old hillbilly smiled to himself as he thought back on a time. "Well, thar was the time I lost my sheep. We gathered up a bunch of the boys, got some moonshine in us and went off after it. When we found the sheep, we all took turns screwing it.... my, that was fun!"The reporter couldn't write a story about that so he asked for another." Well, when my neighbor's wife got lost, we all gathered up and got drunk and went out to look for her. We had a good time taking turns with her when we found her, too. Damn that was a lot of fun!"The reporter was more...

There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W.Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview.
"Sir, I am writing a story about people in this area and would like to include an interesting story from you. Is there any particular story that you would like to share?"
The old hillbilly smiled to himself as he thought back on a time. "Well, thar was the time I lost my sheep. We gathered up a bunch of the boys, got some moonshine in us and went off after it. When we found the sheep, we all took turns screwing it....my, that was fun!"
The reporter couldn't write a story about that so he asked for another.
"Well, when my neighbor's wife got lost, we all gathered up and got drunk and went out to look for her. We had a good time taking turns with her when we found her, too. Damn that was a lot of more...