Fun Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parents'
    house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a
    non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays.
    I thought my mother and by date would hit it off like partridges
    and pear trees.

    So, I was wrong.

    Sue me.

    I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the
    invitation. "I know these family things can be a little weird," I
    told her, "but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun
    on Christmas Eve."

    "Sounds fine to me," Karen said.

    I had only known by mother for 31 years when I told her I'd be
    bringing Karen with me. "She's a very nice girl and she's really
    looking forward to meeting all of you."

    "Sounds fine to me," my mother said.

    And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me's.
    What more...

    Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. "Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves." The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!" So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"

    A lady goes on vacation alone to the Caribbean wishing
    her husband had been able to join her. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate lovemaking she asks him, "What is your name?"
    "I can't tell you!" the black man says.
    Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he cannot tell her. On her last night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your name?"
    "I can't because you will make fun of me!" the black man says.
    "There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady says.
    "Fine, my name is Snow" the black man replies. And the lady bursts into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says,
    "I knew you would make fun of it" the black man says.
    The lady replied,
    "Its my husband that won't believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow everyday in the more...

    Whale of a Tale

    Hot 3 years ago

    Willie the Whale and his whale girlfriend, Monica, are swimming happily through the ocean when they come upon a boat. On seeing the boat, Willie says, "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's swim up under that boat and blow out really hard through our blowholes!"
    Monica says, "Oh, I don't know..."
    "Come on, it'll be fun, come on, just this once!", says Willie.
    Monica agrees and they swim up under the boat and blow out, capsizing the boat and sending hapless sailors into the briny blue.
    As they are swimming away, Willie says, "Wow, that was fun, wasn't it? Hey! I've got another idea! Let's swim back there and eat all the sailors!"
    To which Monica, exasperated, replies, "Look, I agreed to the blow job, but I'm not swallowing any seamen."

    E-Mail Is Like

    Hot 3 years ago

    Top 10 Reasons Why E-Mail is Like a Male Reproductive Organ:

    10. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.

    9. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.

    8. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.

    7. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it (e-mail envy).

    6. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.

    5. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

    4. If you don't apply the appropriate measures, it can spread viruses.

    3. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

    2. We attach an importance to more...

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