Parrots Jokes

A woman approaches her priest and tells him,
'Father, I have a problem. I have two talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.'
'What do they say?' the priest inquires.
'They only know how to say, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?"'
'That's terrible,' the priest exclaims, 'but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots that I taught to pray and recite the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.'
'Thank you,' the woman responds.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The woman puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots.
Immediately, the female parrots say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?'
One of the male more...

Q: Why did the owl, owl?
A: Because the woodpecker would peck `er!

Q: What is a polygon?
A: A dead parrot!

Q: What flies through the jungle singing opera?
A: The parrots of Penzance!

Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A: A fire Quaker!

Q: What is a parrot`s favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!

Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!

Q: What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor?
A: `The pheasants are revolting`!

Q: What is the definition of Robin?
A: A bird who steals!

Q: When is the best time to buy budgies?
A: When they`re going cheap! Q: What do parrots eat?
A: Polyfilla!

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!

Q: What bird tastes just like butter?
A: A stork!

Q: What`s another name for a clever duck?
A: A wise more...

This guy is selling three parrots. Another guy who wants to buy a parrot approaches him and asks, "How much are your parrots?"The salesman answers, "The first one is $1,000." "Well, what does he know?" asked the potential buyer."He knows 10,000 words and 500 sentences, and is able to solve mathematical expressions.""How about the second one?""The second parrot costs $5,000.""What does he know?""He knows 100,000 words and 10,000 sentences, is able to solve mathematical expressions, AND create computer programs.""Then what is the price for the third one?," the buyer wondered."This one costs $20,000.""Really?!," exclaimed the exciting buyer. "What does he know?""This one knows absolutely nothing, but the two others always call him 'their boss'."

An young lady inherited a very beautiful parrot when her Aunt died. The girl was surprised to find out that her Aunt had been a very successful Madam and was well known for her sexual appetite. When she got the bird home she soon learned that the bird had quite a vocabulary and that she ended each string of words with the phrase, "I'm a whore." Well the girl was engaged to the son of a preacher and knew that she couldn't keep the bird around once she got married so she discussed the situation with her soon to be husband, after giving the situation some thought he brought the problem to his father. The preacher informed the son that he had a couple of little old ladies in his congregation who also had parrots and that these particular birds spent all of their time in prayer. He called the old ladies and explained the situation. The old ladies invited him to bring the bird to them and felt sure that the naughty bird would benefit from the exposure to the Holy birds. Soon the more...

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say,' Hi, we're prostitutes.' Want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say,"Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some more...