Fun Jokes / Recent Jokes

Top 10 Reasons Why E-Mail is Like a Male Reproductive Organ:

10. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.

9. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.

8. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.

7. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it (e-mail envy).

6. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.

5. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

4. If you don't apply the appropriate measures, it can spread viruses.

3. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

2. We attach an importance to more...

A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say,' Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have more...

WHY E-MAIL IS LIKE A PENISSome folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it. It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done. In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time. Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do. It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, more...

There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W. Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview.

"Sir, I am writing a story about people in this area and would like to include an interesting story from you. Is there any particular story that you would like to share?"

The old hillbilly smiled to himself as he thought back on a time. "Well, thar was the time I lost my sheep. We gathered up a bunch of the boys, got some moonshine in us and went off after it. When we found the sheep, we all took turns screwing it.... my, that was fun!"

The reporter couldn't write a story about that so he asked for another.

"Well, when my neighbor's wife got lost, we all gathered up and got drunk and went out to look for her. We had a good time taking turns with her when we found her, too. Damn that more...

one day a man was jumping on a manhole cover and yelling 31! 31! 31! another guy came up to him and said "what are you doing? you look like a complete ass!" the guy that was jumping replied "it's a game, you wanna try? it's actually pretty fun." so the guy get son the manhole cover and starts hopping up and down saying 31 31 31 31.

the first guy said "no no no! your doing it wrong, you have to jump higher and yell louder"

so the guy jumps up and yells 31! and as soon as he does that, the first guy pulls the manhole cover out from under him and makes him fall down the hole. He then puts the manhole cover back on, gets on it again and resumes jumping and yelling 32! 32! 32! 32!

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde more...

Work..

 
I don't get anything done on Mondays because I'm so depressed about being back at work after a fun filled weekend.
And I never get any work done on Fridays because I'm so excited about planning another fun weekend.
So, my plan is to shorten the work week to just Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday since those are the only days when I get any work done.
Of course then I wouldn't get anything done on Tuesday or Thursday for the same reason I didn't work on Monday and Friday.
So we might as well shorten the work week to just one day, Wednesday.
Then Wednesday would be awful because it would be the only day I had to work.
So if I worked twice as hard on Wednesday, then I could take the next Wednesday off and have a thirteen day weekend.
The only trouble with that is that it would be hard to remember which Wednesday I was supposed to work and which Wednesday I could take off.
So let's just keep it simple. I might as well take more...