Gathered Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lipstick Problem

    Hot 2 years ago

    A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].
    Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together who wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2 pm.
    They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
    The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was to remove the waxy lipstick, and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean. The custodian then demonstrated...
    He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to more...

    Lip Prints

    Hot 5 years ago

    A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom, they would press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
    Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick and told them to meet him at the ladies room at 3:00 PM.
    They gathered that afternoon at the appointed time and found the principal and school custodian waiting for them.
    The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness how hard it was to clean it.
    The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long-handled brush out of a box, dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, walked over to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick. It was the last time he had to do so!

    The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to
    say. "Things don't look good." The only chance is a brain transplant. This
    is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains
    are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."
    "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
    "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."
    Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the
    men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But
    the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in
    price between male brains and female brains?"
    "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team.
    "Women's brains have to be marked down because they have actually
    been used."

    Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night.
    He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.
    Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.
    When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place."

    Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night.He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place."

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