Technician Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Technologically Challenged Just in case you think YOU are TC (technologically challenged), there'sstill hope: 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old (5-1/4") diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels. 4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies. 5. A Dell more...

Just in case you think you are TC (technologically challenged). The following is an excerpt taken from a Wall Street Journal article: 1.Compaq is considering changing thecommand "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood ofcalls asking where the "Any" key is. 2.AST technical support had a callercomplaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turnedout to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3.Another Compaq technician receiveda call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from hisold diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into thetypewriter to type the labels. 4.Another AST customer was asked tosend a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from thecustomer along with photocopies of the floppies. 5.A Dell technician more...

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels. 4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes. 5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer put more...

' Thank you for calling Technical Support.'

(This is kind of long... just like waiting for Tech Support)

All of our technicians are currently busy helping people even less competent than you, so please hold for the next available technician. The waiting time is now estimated at between fifteen minutes and eternity. In order to expedite your call, please punch your 63-digit product identification number onto your telephone touch pad, followed by your product serial number, which can be found in a secret compartment inside your computer where, for security purposes, it is printed in the smallest typeface known to mankind. Do that now.

(Lengthy excerpt from Mahler's' Lugubrious' Symphony in C Minor)

Thank you again for calling Technical Support. We recommend that you sit at your computer, preferably turning it on at some point, and have at hand all your floppy disks, CD-ROM disks, computer manuals and ori- ginal packing materials in order to more...

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.

Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Lines, and no Question Seems to be Too Basic From the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994. Reprinted without permission AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't gether new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked thewoman what happened when she pushed the power button. "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," thewoman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the womansaid, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "footpedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated devicethat helps to control the computer's operations.[boring stuff deleted] Only two years ago, most calls to PC help lines came from techiesneeding help on complex problems. But now, with computer sales to homesexploding as new "multimedia" functions more...

COMPUTER BLUES

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close more...