Tarzan Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex.Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him.As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch.In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for!?'Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex.

Whats that? he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said
Oh Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.

Horrified she said Tarzan you have it all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly.

She took off her clothes laid down on the ground and spread her legs.
Here she said pointing You must put it in here.

Tarzan removed his loincloth stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp
What the hell did you do that for?
Tarzan check for squirrels.

Q: What is the difference between the panama canal and a blond?
A: One is a busy ditch and the other is a dizy bitch.
Q: How are bob barker and lorena bobbit different?
A: One is a slick pricer and the other is a prick slicer
Q: How is a blond like a screen door?
A: The harder you slamm them the looser they become
Q: How do elephants hide in the jungle?
A: Paint there balls green and lay on their backs in a watermelon patch
Q: How did tarzan die?
A: Thumping watermelons
Q: How are a turtle and a blond similar?
A: Put them on their backs and they are phucked
Q: Why did the blond have a big belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was blond too!

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.
Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch. In pain she screamed' What the hell did you do that for?' Tarzan replied,' Always check for squirrels.'

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
"Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
in the distance?
Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
"Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was very very attracted to him, and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex.
"Tarzan not know sex", he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said, " Oh, Tarzan use soft hole in tree trunk."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here." she said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer to get a better look, got an enormous erection and gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What did you do that for? "
Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels