T-shirt Jokes / Recent Jokes
Top 50+ Geek T-Shirt slogans1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extrememly large values of2.5. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.6. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.8. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN9. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL10. <
The information went data way---11. Best file compression around: "DEL . " = 100% compression12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding14. The name is Baud... James Baud.15. BUFFERS FILES_ 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! 16. Access denied
The Top 9 Signs Your City Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site
9. IOC members seem unconcerned over scheduling conflicts due to the yachting, diving and swimming events all being held in the 34th Street YMCA pool.
8. All 75 of the new hires in the mayor's office are named either Ingrid or Sven.
7. After Philadelphia lands the Summer Games, Juan Antonio Samaranch sports a hood ornament that looks strangely like the Liberty Bell.
6. Only someone bribed with hookers and college tuition wouldn't think the term "New York City Hospitality Committee" is an oxymoron.
5. Karl Malone is now playing forward for the Utah Samaranches.
4. T-shirt for sale in the hotel lobby: "My dad went to Salt Lake City, and all I got was this T-shirt and college tuition."
3. "Miss Salt Lake" for 1999 requires a translator to deliver her coronation speech.
2. New Olympic mascots: Vinny and Knuckles.
and the Number 1 Sign Your City Used Bribes to more...
The Top 9 Signs Your City Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site9. IOC members seem unconcerned over scheduling conflicts due to the yachting, diving and swimming events all being held in the 34th Street YMCA pool. 8. All 75 of the new hires in the mayor's office are named either Ingrid or Sven. 7. After Philadelphia lands the Summer Games, Juan Antonio Samaranch sports a hood ornament that looks strangely like the Liberty Bell. 6. Only someone bribed with hookers and college tuition wouldn't think the term "New York City Hospitality Committee" is an oxymoron. 5. Karl Malone is now playing forward for the Utah Samaranches. 4. T-shirt for sale in the hotel lobby: "My dad went to Salt Lake City, and all I got was this T-shirt and college tuition." 3. "Miss Salt Lake" for 1999 requires a translator to deliver her coronation speech. 2. New Olympic mascots: Vinny and Knuckles.and the Number 1 Sign Your City Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site...1. The IOC more...
* "On the advice of our solicitors, this T-shirt bears no message at this time".
* "That's it! I'm calling me granny" (seen on a seven-year-old)
* "Rehab is for quitters"
* "My dog can lick anyone"
* "Party - my cot - 2 a.m." (on a baby-size T-shirt)
* "If a woman's place is in the home WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS FECKIN' CAR!"
* "They call it 'PMT' cos 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken"
* "A picture is worth a thousand words - but it uses up a thousand times the memory."
* "HAM AND EGGS - a day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig."
* "Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit."
* "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
* "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."
* "Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane."
* more...
The Top 9 Signs Your City Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site
9. IOC members seem unconcerned over scheduling conflicts due to the yachting, diving and swimming events all being held in the 34th Street YMCA pool.
8. All 75 of the new hires in the mayor’s office are named either Ingrid or Sven.
7. After Philadelphia lands the Summer Games, Juan Antonio Samaranch sports a hood ornament that looks strangely like the Liberty Bell.
6. Only someone bribed with hookers and college tuition wouldn’t think the term “New York City Hospitality Committee” is an oxymoron.
5. Karl Malone is now playing forward for the Utah Samaranches.
4. T-shirt for sale in the hotel lobby: “My dad went to Salt Lake City, and all I got was this T-shirt and college tuition. ”
3. “Miss Salt Lake” for 1999 requires a translator to deliver her coronation speech.
2. New Olympic mascots: Vinny and Knuckles.
and the Number 1 Sign Your City Used Bribes to more...
Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.
Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead
Husband and Cat Lost... Reward for Cat
Be Nice to Your Children... They'll Pick Your Nursing Home
Husbands Should Come With Instructions
Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time
Even If You Lead a Good Life, Go to Church and Say Your Prayers, You'll Still Go to Des Moines When You Die
Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many. Monogamy Is the Same
I'm Not Suddenly a Dirty Old Man... I've Been Practicing Since 1949
Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton
Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt
Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes... Use Birth Control
If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees
A Nest Isn't Empty Until All Their Stuff Is Out of the Attic
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up
My Husband and I Married for Better more...