Sweater Jokes / Recent Jokes
A sweater is usually put on a child when the parent feels chilly.
I was going to knit a sweater but I wasn’t sure if I could remember how to do it. Then my friend said that it was just like riding a bike. And I said, “yeah, you’re right...except there’s no seat...or handlebars...or wheels...so it's not like riding a bike at all. And you're no longer my friend.”
Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage.
Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night.
Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back.
Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again.
So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he more...
Q: How do you know if you cat`s got a bad cold?
A: He has cat-arrh!
Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
A: They never cry over spilt milk!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
A: An animal that puts you out a night!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo?
A: A stripy jumper!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!
Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes! Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripy sweater!
Q: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
A: She`s got that down in the mouth look!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
A: A peeping tom!
Q: Why is the desert lion everyone`s favorite at Christmas?
A: more...
This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through 20 minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom.
After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the more...
Three college girls went in for physicals,
Upon examining the first woman the Dr. notices she has a large letter 'H' imprinted on her chest. The Dr. asked her "how did you get this?"
She says "my boyfriend is from Harvard, he likes to leave his letter sweater on when we make love."
While examining the second woman the Dr. notices she has a large letter 'Y' imprinted on her chest. The Dr. asked her "how did you get this?"
She says "my boyfriend is from Yale, he likes to leave his letter sweater on when we make love."
During the examination of the third woman the Dr. notices a large letter 'M' imprinted on her chest. The Dr. says "I see your boyfriend is from the University of Minnesota!"
She responds "No, my girlfriend is from Wisconsin!"
"I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner."