Submarine Jokes / Recent Jokes

The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy.
He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School.
The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen,' sir', it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."

Q: Did you see the polish submarine with a screen door?
A: Dont laugh, it keeps the fish out.

your mommas so fat when she was bringing her boat in from a days fishing, the people thaught it was a submarine

At an international seminar where scientists were boasting about their countries' achievements, an American scientist claimed that they had invented a fighter plane which could touch the ceiling of the sky. When challenged, he admitted that it didn't actually touch it, but almost did. Then a Russian scientist claimed that they had invented a submarine which could travel on the floor of the sea. He was also challenged and he had to admit that the submarine almost travelled on the floor. The Indian scientist then claimed that they were now able to feed themselves through their nose. He was also challenged. He then said, "Well, almost."

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?A: Knock on the door.

Did you hear about the blond who tried to hijack a submarine?
She demanded $100,000 and a parachute.

The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he’d dreamed of working since a young boy.
He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School.
The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, “Listen, ’sir’, it’s real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn’t come out even, don’t open the hatch. ”