Statues Jokes / Recent Jokes

For decades two statues, one male one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You`ve been such
exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I`m going to give you a special gift. I`m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes,
in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I`ll shit on its head."

A village potter used to make pots and planters. He would go to a near by town to sell his wares. He had a donkey on whose back he would load the pots etc.
Diwali was fast approaching, so the potter decided to make some statues of Lord Ganesha and Goddess Lakshmi, to sell in town. He made some beautiful statues and painted them in bright colours. He then loaded them on to the back of his donkey and set off towards the city.
On the way, he crossed many people. They would invariably fold their hands and bow to the statues of Ganesha and Lakshmi. By the time they reached the city, many people had bowed their heads before the deities.
They reached the exhibition ground where the artisans could exhibit their things. Soon the potter was able to sell his statues for a good sum. He was pleased indeed!
The potter took his donkey by the muzzle and set off on the road leading back to the village. Every time they would cross anyone, the donkey would stop and preen himself more...

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park,
until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You`ve been such exemplary statues," he announced to them,
"and I`m going to give you a special gift.
I`m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes,
from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking conspiratorially.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great!
Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I`ll poop on it`s head."

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.

The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.

After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it more...

There were two statues in the park. One day an angel came down from heaven and spoke to the statues. "I have been given the power to grant you 3 hours of life. You may do anything you want." With that the stautes came to life. Since the were male and female, they both ran into some bushes. The angel stood by as the bushes shock and sounds if laughter came from them. After 2 and half hours the statues came out of the bushes with wide smiles. "You have another half hour. Is there still something you would like to do?" the angel asked. "Well do you want to do it again?" asked the male statue. "Sure" replyed the female with a giggle. "Only this time you hold the pidgeons and I'll poop on their heads"

An American tourist was visiting a temple in Singapore when he noticed two statues, a man and a woman by the altar. He asked the monk what was the significance of the two. The monk explained that in the Chinese system of yin and yang, positives must always be balanced by negatives, and having the two statues ensures that the universal balance was maintained. "This statue of the woman is the Goddess of Mercy, Kuan-Yin." "What about the other one?" asked the tourist. "This one is the God of No Mercy, Kuan-Yew."

Two statues, male and female, have been guarding the door of an old church for
centuries keeping out evil spirits and such, so one day God decides to reward them.

He comes down and says, "Ok, since you have been so good, I am going to give you
a day off from guarding the church, spend it however you wish."
A few minutes later, God sees the statues dissapear behind a bush. The bush
commences rattiling and shaking like no ones business.
Twelve hours later, they emerge. "Hey, God says "You've still got twelve
hours left, go have fun!"
So the female statue turns to the male statue and says, "Ok, this time you
hold the pigeon and I'll crap on it."