Statues Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The pigeons in the park

    Hot 5 years ago

    For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park until one day, an angel came down from heaven.
    "You've been such exemplary statues," the angel said, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, during which time you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
    The two approached each other a bit shyly and dashed for the bushes, from whence there came a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
    Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes with wide grins on their faces.
    "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
    Grinning even more broadly, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on it's head!"

    Two Statues

    Hot 5 years ago

    For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
    "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
    The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
    "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
    Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time...
    you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."

    Halo Statues

    Hot 3 years ago

    An Italian man immigrates to America. He starts sweeping floors in a pizzeria, and after 15 years works his way up to owning a small chain of pizzerias.

    He decides to have his own house designed and built for him. And it is going to have everything!

    One day he is talking to the contractor and said, "Makea you sure you puta plenty da halo statues inna da house. I wanna hava lotsa da halo statues. One inna every room, even da bathroom."The contractor, realizing his client must be a very religious person, carefully plans a niche in every room, and personally searches for the perfect statue for each niche.

    Finally, the house is finished. The Italian man walks through his new home for the first time. The contractor points out all the features, and finally the Italian man said, "But wherea are alluh my halo statues? I wanna lotsa halo statues!"

    And the contractor points to the niches and said, "I put a statue in every more...

    For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from Heaven.

    "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. i'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

    The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

    "You still have fifteen more minutes." said the angel, winking knowingly.

    Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll dump on its head."

    For many years, two statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park. One day an angel appeared and said, "Since the two of you have been such exemplary statues, I a going to grant you your greatest wish. I shall bring you both to life for thirty minutes, during which time you may do whatever you desire." With a clap of the angel's hands, the two statues came to life.
    The two statues smiled at each other shyly and then dove behind some tall bushes. The angel grinned and listened as the statues giggled and laughed, bushes rustled and twigs snapped. Fifteen minutes later, the statues emerged from the bushes smiling and looking satisfied.
    "You still have fifteen minutes left," the angel said with a wink.
    The female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! But this time, YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL shit on its head."

  • Recent Activity