Starfleet Jokes

Combination paperweight/stapler for Picard's desk
The ball in Parisis' Squares
Hood ornament for Shuttlecraft
Replace Troi's broken Chia Pet
Scare blind students in Braille class
Prop open doors for maintenance crews
Lawn decoration in Arboreteum
Footstool for Captain's chair
Entertaining kids in day care puppet show
Scare Alexander into doing chores
Send to doctor that killed Crystalline entity as gag gift
Decorative air filter in Picard's fish tank
Send to Starfleet Android research center so they can get "ahead" in research.
Trade to Ferengi for Star Trek Hologram cards
Two words: tether ball
Keep Worf's coffee table from shaking
Centerpiece in Ten Forward buffet
Donate to Starfleet Academy to be head of the class
Use as nutcracker at Christmastime
Prove to insurance company he died so crew can collect on his life insurance policy

Combination paperweight/stapler for Picard's desk.
The ball in Parisis' Squares.
Hood ornament for shuttlecraft.
Replace Troi's broken Chia Pet.
Scare blind students in Braille class.
Prop open doors for maintainence crews.
Lawn decoration in Arboreteum.
Footstool for Captain's chair.
Entertaining kids in day care puppet show.
Scare Alexander into doing chores.
Send to doctor that killed Crystalline Entity as gag gift.
Decorative air filter in Picard's fish tank.
Send to Starfleet Android Research Center, so they can "get a head" in research.
Trade to Ferengi for Star Trek Hologram cards.
Two words: tether ball!
Keep Worf's coffee table from shaking.
Centerpiece in Ten Forward buffet.
Donate to Starfleet Academy to be "Head of the Class."
Use as nutcracker at Christmas time.
And the number one use for Data's detatchable head...
Prove to insurance company he died so crew can collect on more...

The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright.
Some of the crew visits the holodeck, and it works properly.
The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.
The crew of the Enterprise is struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.
The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without a serious incident.
An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
A power surge on the more...

Picard's female officers think the captain's "log" is some kind
of wimpy electronic journal.
Ever see Kirk wearing a freakin' jumpsuit?
Picard never met Joan Collins, but if he did, he still couldn't
get any.
Kirk never straightened out his shirt when he stood up.
Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy.
There was no Klingon word for "defeat" - until they met Kirk.
Picard lets the chief of security wear a ponytail.
One question: what would Kirk have done if he saw a female doctor
bending over the operating table?
How they react to cute, cuddly creatures on the bridge?
Picard: Encourage science officer to adopt one.
Kirk: Beam their cute, cuddly, little butts aboard Klingon ship.
How they would react to Deanna's mother?
Picard: Embarrassed tolerance.
Kirk: Bribe Q to time-travel her butt to the Ceti-Alpha system, and let her read
Kahn's mind for a while.
How they spend their captain's more...