Cute Jokes

an alien landed on earth and he learned 3 words one from an opera that was me me me.the second was fork and knife from a restaurant.the third was from a commercial from tv plug it plug it in.a cop seen the alien walking down the street and told the alien that there has been a murderer and if he knew who did it the alien replied me me me then the cop asks with what the alien replies fork and knife.the next day they sentenced the alien to the electric chair the exocutioner asked if he had any last words the alien replied plug it in plug it in.

Am I cute, or do you need another drink?

A fat guy went into a chineese buffet.
So he ate and he ate and he ate a little bit more each time he went up there.
Finally the chineese manager came up to him and said,"Sir", in a chineese acsent,"Sir, Sir sign says all you can eat not all we got"

What do you call a cute volcano?
Lava-ble!

1. Apple's stock only rose 25% last week.
2. Bill Gates's birthday now a paid holiday for Apple employees.
3. Default Mac startup sound changed to "Taps."
4. Wall Street brokers have stopped using Apple stock certificates as toilet paper.
5. Apple's new slogan: "Almost as good as Windows!"
6. Apple has been bent over with its pants dropped for so long now, even a geek like Bill Gates was bound to get lucky.
7. Cute rainbow-colored apple now inhabited by cute rainbow-colored worm.
8. Microsoft comes out with an operating system incorporating Mac technology... uh, wait a minute...
9. Phone and utilities mysteriously start working again at Apple's corporate HQ.
10. Steve Jobs seen tending bar at the Gates' private lawn party.
11. Diners in Microsoft's staff cafeteria can now enjoy their apple pie purely for its wholesome goodness and no longer as a symbolic act of global domination.
12. Unsold Newtons used as cobblestones in more...