Cute Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Cute Volcano

    Hot 6 years ago

    What do you call a cute volcano?
    Lava-ble!

    Monsters, Inc. was a cute animated movie that is pretty funny, but definitely for kids. You should go see it if you have kids, are a kid, or like to pretend you're a kid late at night by wearing diapers. It's made by the Pixar people, who did Toy Story and A Bug's Life, and that pretty much tells you what to expect. Same technology, but a couple years later, so it's a little better, a little more lifelike. Movie gets a nice, solid 3 6/7 Babylons. You'll have a good time, but try not to see it in a theater filled with too many kids- they can be annoying. Especially when the one right behind you spends the last fifteen minutes kicking your chair telling its Mommy that it needs to go to the bathroom.

    OK, now let's talk about the Star Wars trailer.

    By now, you have seen it, or heard it, or had it described to you by a cyber-dork named C3PO4EVR on a host of fan sites. You know it's really short. You know there is no dialogue. You know that the only sound you get is more...

    Am I cute

    Hot 6 years ago

    Am I cute, or do you need another drink?

    Beautiful?

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to ‘beautiful'? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!" Animals
    Beautiful? "There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.
    His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
    A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because more...

    1. Apple's stock only rose 25% last week.
    2. Bill Gates's birthday now a paid holiday for Apple employees.
    3. Default Mac startup sound changed to "Taps."
    4. Wall Street brokers have stopped using Apple stock certificates as toilet paper.
    5. Apple's new slogan: "Almost as good as Windows!"
    6. Apple has been bent over with its pants dropped for so long now, even a geek like Bill Gates was bound to get lucky.
    7. Cute rainbow-colored apple now inhabited by cute rainbow-colored worm.
    8. Microsoft comes out with an operating system incorporating Mac technology... uh, wait a minute...
    9. Phone and utilities mysteriously start working again at Apple's corporate HQ.
    10. Steve Jobs seen tending bar at the Gates' private lawn party.
    11. Diners in Microsoft's staff cafeteria can now enjoy their apple pie purely for its wholesome goodness and no longer as a symbolic act of global domination.
    12. Unsold Newtons used as cobblestones in more...

  • Recent Activity