Sport Jokes / Recent Jokes
Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said,' Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this pretzel hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!' The wrestler nodded in agreement.
The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat more...
A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to' enforce the laws pending.' He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said,' Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?'
The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said,' This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?'
The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said,' This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?'
The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said,' This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon more...
"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad, I couldn't see where the ball went." "You're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife. "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "Yes, but he's got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Did you see where it went?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "I forgot."
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked."Youll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!""Really? Howd you do that?" "I dropped the ball."
Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."