Spirit Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I asked God

    Hot 6 months ago

    I asked God to take away my pain.
    God said, No.
    It is not for me to take away,
    but for you to give it up.
    I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
    God said, No.
    Her spirit was whole,
    her body was only temporary.
    I asked God to grant me patience.
    God said, No.
    Patience is a by-product of tribulations;
    it isn't granted, it is earned.
    I asked God to give me happiness.
    God said, No.
    I give you blessings.
    Happiness is up to you.
    I asked God to spare me pain.
    God said, No.
    Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
    and brings you closer to me.
    I asked God to make my spirit grow.
    God said, No.
    You must grow on your own,
    but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
    I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
    God said, No.
    I will give you life
    so that you may enjoy all things.
    I asked God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
    And God said... Ah, finally you more...

    Santa's secret wish

    Hot 3 years ago

    On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes
    Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise
    And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee,
    "I want your secret. Tell it to me."
    He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear
    "How do you do it, year after year?"
    "I want to know how, as you travel about,
    Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
    How is it, Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
    You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys?
    Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
    around the whole world, The reindeer pulling your sleigh
    From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
    From nation to nation, reaching them all?"
    And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
    "Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?"
    But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
    That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
    He told that small boy more...

    Well Below Par

    Hot 2 years ago

    The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.
    "Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."
    The Pope thought it was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand, "Have we not," he asked, "a cardinal who can represent me against the leader of Israel?"
    "None that plays golf very well," a cardinal said. "But," he added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a cardinal, and then ask him to play Benjamin Netanyahu as
    your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."
    Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course Nicklaus was honored, and agreed to play. more...

    One night George Bush awakens from a fitfull sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of George Washington. Dubya begs of Washington's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my country?"
    "That's easy," replies Washington's Ghost. "Set an honest and honorable example, just like I did." And with that he was gone.
    On the next night George Bush awakens from a fitfill sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. Duby begs of Jefferson's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my country?"
    "That's easy," replies Jefferson's Ghost. "Cut taxes and streamline the federal government, just like I did." And with that he was gone.
    On the third night George Bush awakens from a fitfull sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Dubya begs of Lincoln's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my more...

    Golf Match

    Hot 3 years ago

    The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.
    â??Your Holiness,â?? said one of the Cardinals, â??Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths.â??
    The Pope thought it was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand, â??Have we not,â?? he asked, â??a cardinal who can represent me against the leader of Israel?â??
    â??None that plays golf very well,â?? a cardinal said. â??But,â?? he added, â??there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a cardinal, then ask him to play Benjamin Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, weâ??ll also win the match.â??
    Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, more...

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