Holiness Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Well Below Par

    Hot 2 years ago

    The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.
    "Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."
    The Pope thought it was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand, "Have we not," he asked, "a cardinal who can represent me against the leader of Israel?"
    "None that plays golf very well," a cardinal said. "But," he added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a cardinal, and then ask him to play Benjamin Netanyahu as
    your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."
    Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course Nicklaus was honored, and agreed to play. more...

    Golf Match

    Hot 3 years ago

    The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.
    â??Your Holiness,â?? said one of the Cardinals, â??Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths.â??
    The Pope thought it was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand, â??Have we not,â?? he asked, â??a cardinal who can represent me against the leader of Israel?â??
    â??None that plays golf very well,â?? a cardinal said. â??But,â?? he added, â??there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a cardinal, then ask him to play Benjamin Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, weâ??ll also win the match.â??
    Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, more...

    The Pope met with the Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, leader of the Jewish nation.
    "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior by challenging you to a golf match."
    The Pope was greatly disturbed as he had never held a golf club in his life.
    "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "We'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus.
    We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres....we can't lose!"
    Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honoured and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match.
    "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
    "Second!?" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres!!??"
    "No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Palmer."

    The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.
    "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.
    The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
    "Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!"
    "No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."

    The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life. "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus. "Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!" "No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."

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