Spiders Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. Why are spiders always like tops?
A. They are always spinning
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.
"Well, we're not having any of that shit in our garden."
Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?"
"They're mating, Lucy." he replied.
"What do you call the spider on top Daddy?" Lucy asked.
"Oh, that's a Daddy Longlegs."
Lucy asked, "Oh, so one's a Daddy Longlegs and the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?"
Daddy replied, "No, both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
Lucy thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing in our garden!!"
Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!
What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
Why are spider’s good swimmers?
They have webbed feet!
How do you spot a modern spider?
He doesn`t have a web he had a website!
What are spiders webs good for?
Spiders!
What kind of doctors are like spiders?
Spin doctors!
What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?
I`m not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!
What did the spider say to the fly?
We`re getting married do you want to come to the webbing?
What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?
It became a daddy short legs! What is a spider’s favorite TV show?
The newly web more...
Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium!
Why do Black widow spiders kill there mates after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts..