Mating Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!" Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

    Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought. Q: What is the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm "sooo" drunk!" Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!" Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists? A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter! Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe. Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children? A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead? A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it! Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? A2: So that when they're on more...

    A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
    He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.
    "No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs." The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing going on in our garden".

    A mother and her seven year old are walking by the park, and they see two squirrles mating.The little girl asks "Mommy what are they doing."The mother replies "They are baking a cake."
    A few days later they walk by the park and they see two dogs mating, The daughter asks if they are baking a cake to?
    The mother replies yes.
    The next morning the daughter comes up to her mom and says "Mommy I saw you and Daddy baking a cake last night and I licked the icing off"

    A prominent biogeneticist is conducting advanced research on the similarities between primates and humans. After a decade of preparation, he is now ready for his most daring experiment to date: the mating of a human with a gorilla.
    Having spent years searching for the proper gorilla, he finally selects a supple simian from the San Diego Zoo. Finding the human partner, however, will be more difficult. First, he designs an extensive and detailed forty-page questionnaire. Next, he places a classified ad in the New York Review of Books: "Wanted: Single White male, between 25 and 27 years of age, with a Master's degree, non-smoker, who loves Mozart, animals and long walks on the beach, to impregnate a female gorilla. Stipend: $300."
    To his delight, the researcher receives over two hundred letters, and promptly sends a copy of the questionnaire to each of the respondents. Over 90 percent of the questionnaires are returned, but only one applicant fulfills all the more...

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