Mating Jokes / Recent Jokes

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs." The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing going on in our garden".

Two Indians and a redneck were stolling through the woods, when suddenly one of the Indians ran up a hill to the opening of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave, and then listened very closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He quickly tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
Puzzled, the redneck asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what?
"No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season. When Indian men see cave, they holler, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."
Just then, they spotted another cave. The Indian ran up to the mouth of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!". Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep within the cave. He quickly tore off his clothes and ran into more...

A little girl was playing in the garden when she spied two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "Theyre mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "Thats a daddy long legs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a mommy long legs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy long legs." The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, were not having any of THAT in our garden."

Getting Things Done Around Here Is Like Mating Elephants!

1. It's Done At A High Level.

2. It's Accomplished With A Great Deal Of Roaring And
Screaming.

3. It Takes Two Years To Produce Results.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: They make good ankle warmers.

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm more...

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!
Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: more...

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick.Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop.Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks.Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: They make good ankle warmers.Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show! Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear.Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"Q: What's the mating call of the brunette? A: "All the more...