Smacked Jokes

Little Johnny drew a realistic looking fly on the class grade book. When the teacher saw the fly sitting on the book, she smacked it with a ruler but the fly didn't fly away. She smacked the book once again, and again the fly didn't fly away.
This caused the teacher to become very angry, so she started to pound the book with the ruler. As a result, the grade book became a bunch of torn sheets of paper.
When students in the class began to laugh, the teacher realized what had happened. She immediately called Little Johnny's father and asked him to come to the school.
"Do you see what your son did to our class grade book?" she asked his father.
"That's nothing," his father replied. "Last month he drew a naked woman on our fence. I was pulling splinters out of my dick for two weeks straight!"

If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?

My most memorable one was, after being lightly smacked on the butt and asking, "What was that for?" "Nothing. DO something and see what you get." I once got smacked and when I asked, "What was that for?" my mom replied, That's for all the things I never found out about." If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me! Variation: Cut your legs off in that lawnmower, don't you come running to me! If you poke your eye out with that thing, don't come looking for me! You always find things in the last place you look. Keep doing that with your face and it'll stay that way. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Variation: (speaking in time with the spanking) This(spank) hurts(spank) me(spank) more(spank)..... I want you to go find something for me to spank you with. Mother to my Father: "He's got my looks and your brains!" "He's your son!"I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate. What were you thinking more...