cry Jokes

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    I Screwed your mom

    Hot 1 year ago

    A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,' 'I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.

    Again, he hears,' 'Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.

    The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says,' 'Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

    'Twas The Night Before Christmas,
    He Lived All Alone,
    In A One Bedroom House Made Of
    Plaster And Stone.
    I Had Come Down The Chimney
    With Presents To Give,
    And To See Just Who
    In This Home Did Live.
    I Looked All About,
    A Strange Sight I Did See,
    No Tinsel, No Presents,
    Not Even A Tree.
    No Stocking By Mantle,
    Just Boots Filled With Sand,
    And On The Wall Pictures
    Of Far Distant Lands.
    ith Medals And Badges,
    Awards Of All Kinds,
    A Sobering Thought
    Came To My Mind.
    For This House Was Different,
    So Dark And So Dreary,
    The Home Of A Warrior,
    Now I Could See Clearly.
    The Warrior Lay Sleeping,
    Silent, Alone,
    Curled Up On The Floor
    In This One Bedroom Home.
    The Face Was So Gentle,
    The Room In Such Disorder,
    Not How I Pictured
    A United States warrior.
    Was This The Hero
    Of Whom I'd Just Read?
    Curled Up On A Poncho,
    The Floor more...

    A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long." He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out." The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this ch eck out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and more...

    It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

    Nan please

    Hot 5 years agoby Funny gal

    - Stop ya crying cunt
    - nan please its a baby

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